This was not at all how I imagined bringing my second daughter into the world. A pandemic?! Seriously?
All the emotions were swirling. What am I going to do, I’m 30+ weeks pregnant, I have a 2 year old at home, I’m a teacher, and suddenly the world just stops. Chaos. Everything closing – afraid to go to the store, afraid to go out in public. Afraid to give this virus to my unborn daughter. Then the social media panic. Suddenly visitors are not allowed at hospitals. I was due any day and expecting for my second daughter to come early as my first daughter was born at 36 weeks. I was relatively calm on the outside, but on the inside I was an absolute mess.
Amidst everything going on, I developed what I considered pretty extreme depression in this last trimester. Almost everyone talks about postpartum depression, but now after two kids and having it with my first (not realizing it), having severe depression WHILE pregnant is a very very real thing. Why is that not talked about more? I remember being at my bedside on the floor begging for God to take me home. How selfish of me!! But in those kind of moments, there is a deep dark feeling that is almost inescapable. I’m not even sure how to describe it … A feeling like you are not yourself, and there is a deep panic that is constant and ominous. In addition to all these feelings I had extreme physical pain and unbearable insomnia. After being at the end of my rope and a full blown mental breakdown cry session with my husband, who strongly encouraged me to seek help, I talked with my doctors and found the best solution for my condition. I finally found relief for the pain and stress and I quickly became a much healthier and joyful person.
Oddly enough, I think the pandemic was a silver lining for me and I was actually incredibly grateful during that time. I was able to get a handle on my anxiety, able to be home and rest (all the praise to God!) and my 2 year old absolutely loved having mommy home every day 🙂 I was able to spend time with my family and calmly go to the hospital when it was time to deliver. The hospital allowed my husband to be with me but unlike with my first, we were not allowed to have Everly’s birth documented by a professional photographer so naturally I stepped in. Thankfully my husband was able to take at least one or two shots of me!
The pandemic and hospital restrictions allowed Everly’s birth to be quiet and intimate. The hours following were just my husband and myself and our newest baby girl. How wonderful! Instead of being worried about who was visiting, who got to see her first or hold her first. If I needed to be dressed or not. It was just us. And it was special and perfect. I could be frustrated at COVID, but in that moment – I found a silver lining. How wonderful and perfect to spend a little bit of time away with just me, Trevor, and our precious new baby!
Later, after I took over the camera and the sun finally came out! I grabbed a few last minute snaps of Everly before we left the hospital in her going home outfit!
This last one is my absolute favorite. Everly Rose you are such a blessing and mommy loves you!
Lauren Elliott is a Tuscaloosa Alabama Wedding & Portrait Photographer serving Alabama & beyond. Lauren specializes in weddings, families, maternity, seniors, and other portraits! If you’d like to get to know Lauren or find out more information click here http://www.laurenelliottphoto.com
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